WHATEVER...THAT MEANS. . .

It's like...the memory
of a memory

like walking around
inside a still photo

the sun shining
in B&W

where things have
lost their names

and thoughts don't
adhere to

anything
anymore.

"Ne avevo persa la memoria.."
my reflection tells me

in a language I
no longer know.

The name Alzheimer's
like neon in the mind

but one still
doesn't know what for

maybe a pop star
or a movie at the Odeon

( whatever that means )

or a Stop sign saying
this far and

...no further.

I cherished you, but you left me
& still to this day I have hopes
that we were meant to be

I saw a
fallen leaf
from a
half-forgotten wound

hiding in the grass.

It laughed.
because the tears were gone.
So what was there to do
                                               but laugh.

The hallways were clogged,
Like a fat man's arteries.

i wish i could make you your favorite breakfast
and watch your favorite tv shows in the morning
fill you with kisses on your cheek
and tell you how beautiful you look with your sleepy face

and i wish i could take you by the hand
and take you to all the nice places i know
take you to that coffeeshop all cute and cozy
show you all the beautiful views i love

and i wish i could sing you beautiful songs
and make you smile till you don't feel sad anymore
cover you with a blanket in the middle of the night
and hold you so you can feel warm again

i wish i could hug you when you're sad
and make you laugh till it hurts your belly
and tell you sweet things that make you happier
and beg you to stay everytime you have to leave

i wish i could show you how beautiful you are
and take away all your pain and sadness
and turn it into comfort and joy
even if only for the afternoon

i wish i wasn't scared to tell you how much i like you
how much i want to kiss you and love you
i wish i could make you realize you are so worthy of love
and that love is not something to be scared of

i wish you could feel this way about me too
and that we could try and give it a chance
but you'll never know
and i'll never know
and that is just sad.