finally I couldn't believe
Not to anyone, and none
this feelings and my self like in another world
I'm different
more strong than the previous me
but I can't trust anyone in my world
even I can't recognize my self
who had fallen into a thorns hole
I'm stuck
until someone held out his ****** hand
his body looks shabby and tired
I don't know how hard the obstacles that he have faced
then ..
he made me realize what I should have realized

But I know the things you once told me was never true.
i hadn't had the clue.
adorned words used meticulously,
and I believed them.

I am not saying I am hurt very bad.
or literally sad,
but I can't deny, it did bother me somewhere.

just a single effort you'd have made.
just a single thing you'd have said.
to rekindle what we had.
glum silence followed,
but now the wedge is crystal clear.

considered you were free of deceit,
what I found was a jigsaw instead.
and I was utterly perplexed.
this sordid affair was like a HICCUP,
Completely unexpected.

it bothered me a bit,
But believe me when I say this,
It caused no calamity.

albeit the contortion was required somewhere,

so that I may fathom
HOW SOME PEOPLE ARE SO FAMILIAR YET UNKNOWN.

The morning sun melts
O so gently across pond
Making fishes yawn

It's sad when no one is there for you when you need someone the most, just someone to pat you on the back and tell you that you deserve everything in the world,
It really hurts when you don't have no one to trust, to confide in, to compliment your flaws,
To lift you up when you're down,
It's hurts when you can't​ hug your brothers​ for their birthdays​, you got to miss it and it just tears you down,
It hurts when no one is there to wipe your tears, and tell you don't cry when they're gone, it's so **** painful when you haven't seen your blood in 2 or 3 years,
It breaks my heart to know that I probably will never see my brothers again,
But in the end of it all, it just hurt, to nor have anyone there to listen to your words..

What's love without sacrifice?

It's nothing,
but tears.

n.e

Anxiety makes familiar faces unfamiliar. My stomach aches in church. The monster in my head turns my loved ones into monsters also. No safety net, only cement. My pastor talks of Paul escaping Damascus, being lowered down a wall in a basket. I feel that sick swaying and tense fear. I am held in sleep but must keep moving. I am kept awake but feel sleep like a strait jacket. Save me God. My life is only nothing without You.