I’m exhausted of
always feeling like
I never had a chance

that there was nothing
I could’ve ever done
to make it work

that, from the very start,
I had already lost

too many times I’ve
put everything into
something only to
have it explode in
my face

and then the whisper
comes, and it reminds
me that I never had a
chance

not once,
not ever,
it was impossible,
and I should’ve
known better

and I hate that whisper,
because of what it has
to say,
because of how the truth
stings,
because I keep hearing
it over and over every
time I fail
because I cannot scream
back,

“no, not this time!
I’m going to win you ******.
I’m going to!”

and I cannot scream that
because I know it’ll never
be true