my brain is self-destructing, my heart is  begging me to let it stop,
my eyes see nothing in front of me. only backward
but the earth is still turning
shards of glass from my shattered bones glide through my veins,
like a newspaper boat riding the current, and
i am begging for one piece to stick in my heart, just one little piece,
to make it stop, explode
i want to carve every adjective that cannot describe me
into every inch of my flesh, so that maybe you will understand
why death is what occupies my dreams the most,
so that maybe those little shards of glass will leak from my skin to the floor
and she'll slip on them, fall on them,
make them her problem
because the devil knows just how tired i am of being her ghost
but the birds are still singing
the current is still pushing that boat
my demons are singing my heart lullabies that travel down my spine,
across my ribcage, and echo in my lungs
they want it to go to sleep and god sometimes i wish it would
the notes leak from my lips and my nose when i exhale,
travel through the air into ears of bystanders but nobody hears them, nobody knows
nobody realizes just how much my misery craves their company
somewhere her car is hitting that curb again and maybe this time she'll get what she wanted
but other people are laughing, smiling, moving forward
she's driving as fast as she can to leave me in her dust and
I'm still sitting on the curb right where she left me
because my god did her misery love my company
she left a piece of it behind and it is destroying me from the inside, I'm bleeding out internally
but babies are still being born and their mothers are smiling