There is poison running through my veins
hereditary
passed on from both sets of grandparents. my parents never had a chance
neither do I
There is a silence between our conversations
unspoken words drawing us away from each other
Our kindness to each other is generosity
The days are spent waking from nightmares I’d rather be living in to grunts of good mornings
Waving goodbyes at school
Grunts of greeting at the car and afternoons spent in dreams once again
Till I finally wake up, late evening, switch on my online world and speak to the family I wish I lived with
There is sadness running down these walls
Emptiness between occasional hugs
Hatred slowly growing in hearts
We will probably never speak again once I move out
This normal for me, for the many millions living the way I do
Why
I want to love them the way normal people do
My family are strangers under the same roof
I don't even know what they dream about