Outside?
I'm hurting.
I curl into a ball
As you lash out at me,
Demanding why I don't respond?
Because I'm scared of you, that's why.
Because if I speak, I might give it away.
I cant have you knowing how much it hurts―
Outside and inside, too; My heart picks up its pace.
Too quickly it's beating now, pounding against my chest,
It feels a bit like how your voice feels, a dull ringing in my head..
" Hey *****, are you okay? Am I hurting you, my little *****? "
Did you even say that? Illusions and reality―
I can't remember which is which.
I don't remember..
He doesn't exist
But he does.. Oh, he does
And he loves to tell me he's sorry
I try and convince myself hes not you though,
Because if I accept this part of you,
When he does show himself to me,
I'll be forced to believe its not him hurting me,
It's you.

But you wouldn't hurt me..
So I curl into a ball,
And tell myself
To sleep..

*Sleep until he's gone..