The one day I don't set an alarm
that I may sleep in to my brain's volition
my mom barges into my bedroom just to make sure I'm okay.

While I appreciate the concern, how inconsiderate!
I've worked every day but today this week
and I work all weekend, as well;
plus, it's a habit to avoid sleep at night
(it's the only time I can get time to myself)
and besides, I'm twenty-*******-two;
I can handle myself, and if not;
natural selection will sort it out.

At least call my ******* phone first!
I may neglect my phone by your standards,
but that's because there's so much more to my life
than a ******* cell phone; if anything it's a plight
(or an alarm clock, but not today!)

Clearly she doesn't know I like to sleep naked.
Good thing I sleep with my curtain drawn, the music on, and lights off
(except my black light; it's an effective and badass night light)