being with you scares me
I'm never entirely sure why
and maybe I shouldn't admit this
but a part of me
hates you
regrets you
and wants to push you away

I separate the experience
from you
in my mind
they are two different things
I close my eyes when you touch me
I'm afraid to open them

look into your eyes
and realize its still you
attached to those hands
I love you
but a part of me hates you

is scared of you
and how easily I could break you
I want to be around you
but that alone is scary
because I don't really want you
just the thought of you