A dream of you wakes me.
Depressing thoughts at 3 a.m.
Covers off then covers on,
Too cold then too warm.

I would take a nightmare.
Over this reminder:
That I am lost, unraveling,
Slipping from my mind,
Unable to trust my thoughts.

I thought I had forgotten your face,
A blur when I reached to remember it.
But last night it was clear-
so clear and so beautiful.
I had forgotten what it was like:

To have and to hold,
To love you completely,
To look into your eyes,
And fall in so deeply.

Reality shakes me.
It reaches out with a violent touch.
I try to shake it off,
To shake you off.
Has my mind grown so soft?

I reach for the ceiling,
Call your name to speak some truth.
Can you hear me?
My quiet voice calling out.

I thought I had forgotten your face,
But it returns from deep within my mind,
Not when I search for it,
But when I forget to search for it.
And I remember again,
What it was like.