I feel like dying, but I'm trying. I'm so tired of this anger. You get mad at me, think I'm lying; always feel like I'm in danger. Your inventions of intentions never matched my thoughts inside. Did you ever think to mention when you noticed we had died? I got these daggers in my back, but my pride is still intact. Let's stay together for the kid, always trying to fix it. Broken pieces on the floor — push myself against the door. Now I'm begging you for more: forgive, restart it.
I think I'm dying; I'm going crazy. You think I'm lying — I'm not lazy. I'm just tired from this fighting. You're a liar, so stop waiting. So I'll use my ***** pen to spill my hurt upon this paper. The fighting starts again, so my heart begins to waiver. I'm on the edge again; you're not listening.
I feel like falling, but I'm standing. I'm so tired — my love is gone. You yelled at me; I'm withering. I won't miss you; you're not the one. Your inventions of intentions never matched my thoughts inside. Did you ever think to mention when you noticed we had died? Doesn't matter if it's verbal; keep thinking it is all my fault. We keep fighting in a circle — locked my heart inside a vault. Won't you please just hear me out? Your voice is always full of doubt. Please don't make me have to shout; I can't restart this.
I think I'm dying; I'm going crazy. You think I'm lying — I'm not lazy. I'm just tired from this fighting. You're a liar, so stop waiting. So I'll use my ***** pen to spill my hurt upon this paper. The fighting starts again, so my heart begins to waiver. I'm on the edge again; you're not listening.
I will stand up, drink from this cup. I regret this situation. You can walk away — don't play cleanup. Let's get out of this sick rotation. Your inventions of intentions never matched my thoughts inside. Did you ever think to mention when you noticed we had died? I got these daggers in my back, but my pride is still intact. Can't stay together for the kid; aren't trying to fix it. Left the pieces on the floor — now I'm going out the door. I'm not begging you for more; I won't restart it.
I think I'm dying; I'm going crazy. You think I'm lying — I'm not lazy. I'm just tired from this fighting. You're a liar, so stop waiting. So I'll use my ***** pen to spill my hurt upon this paper. The fighting starts again, so my heart begins to waiver. I'm on the edge again; you're not listening. No... you're not listening. No... you're not listening. No... you're not listening.
This is a song I wrote this week in my spare time after reading some entries from an old journal I never fully committed to./. It's close to my raw emotions I felt in the past as and has many passages from my actual journal. I am posting it on this website hoping these emotions resonate and validate others as much as it helped me.