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7d
I feel like dying, but I'm trying.
I'm so tired of this anger.
You get mad at me, think I'm lying;
always feel like I'm in danger.
Your inventions of intentions
never matched my thoughts inside.
Did you ever think to mention
when you noticed we had died?
I got these daggers in my back,
but my pride is still intact.
Let's stay together for the kid,
always trying to fix it.
Broken pieces on the floor —
push myself against the door.
Now I'm begging you for more:
forgive, restart it.

I think I'm dying; I'm going crazy.
You think I'm lying — I'm not lazy.
I'm just tired from this fighting.
You're a liar, so stop waiting.
So I'll use my ***** pen
to spill my hurt upon this paper.
The fighting starts again,
so my heart begins to waiver.
I'm on the edge again;
you're not listening.

I feel like falling, but I'm standing.
I'm so tired — my love is gone.
You yelled at me; I'm withering.
I won't miss you; you're not the one.
Your inventions of intentions
never matched my thoughts inside.
Did you ever think to mention
when you noticed we had died?
Doesn't matter if it's verbal;
keep thinking it is all my fault.
We keep fighting in a circle —
locked my heart inside a vault.
Won't you please just hear me out?
Your voice is always full of doubt.
Please don't make me have to shout;
I can't restart this.

I think I'm dying; I'm going crazy.
You think I'm lying — I'm not lazy.
I'm just tired from this fighting.
You're a liar, so stop waiting.
So I'll use my ***** pen
to spill my hurt upon this paper.
The fighting starts again,
so my heart begins to waiver.
I'm on the edge again;
you're not listening.

I will stand up, drink from this cup.
I regret this situation.
You can walk away — don't play cleanup.
Let's get out of this sick rotation.
Your inventions of intentions
never matched my thoughts inside.
Did you ever think to mention
when you noticed we had died?
I got these daggers in my back,
but my pride is still intact.
Can't stay together for the kid;
aren't trying to fix it.
Left the pieces on the floor —
now I'm going out the door.
I'm not begging you for more;
I won't restart it.

I think I'm dying; I'm going crazy.
You think I'm lying — I'm not lazy.
I'm just tired from this fighting.
You're a liar, so stop waiting.
So I'll use my ***** pen
to spill my hurt upon this paper.
The fighting starts again,
so my heart begins to waiver.
I'm on the edge again;
you're not listening.
No...
you're not listening.
No...
you're not listening.
No...
you're not listening.
This is a song I wrote this week in my spare time after reading some entries from an old journal I never fully committed to./. It's close to my raw emotions I felt in the past as and has many passages from my actual journal. I am posting it on this website hoping these emotions resonate and validate others as much as it helped me.
Josef Wilhelm
Written by
Josef Wilhelm  Revelstoke
(Revelstoke)   
1.2k
 
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