You’ve brought your puppy home at last, so let the fun begin
A lovely little collar and lead you bought for him.
A cosy bed with blanket, a little dish for food
To make him feel at home here, you’ve done everything you could.
For all this I do laud you, and wish you all the joys
But let me give you some advice when purchasing his toys.
Don’t buy him soft filled donkey’s or rabbits filled with foam
For you’ll find out the innards will be strewn around your home.
Don't bring him home those bouncy *****, the ones that bounce so high
The damage they can bring about will surely make you cry.
But worst of all, now please hear this, the one you must resist
The ones that have me going bald that make me clench my fist.
The ones he doesn’t play with until you want to watch TV
Are those ****** rubber squeaky things, they’ll be the death of me.
He’ll bring out all the others and he’ll want to start and play
But you can just ignore this, for he’s not in your way.
But then he’ll get the big guns and bring out noisy Ted
He’ll chew down hard and bite until that squeak goes through your head.
Now once he’s figured out that Ted can send you up the walls
He leave off all of the others, the softies, and the *****.
He’ll have you now he’s bettered you, he’s now the dog on top
So heed this little warning, leave that squeaker in the shop.