staying awake
to talk to him
is a distraction
from pain,
an escape route
I need.
I stay awake
talking to him
because his voice
settles the static
that’s been keeping me restless
since I opened my eyes
this morning.
staying awake
to talk to him
feels sweet
and pure,
yet I talk quietly,
because I’m 23
and still afraid
of what my family thinks.
talking to him
is cliché, maybe.
but I felt how nervous I was
first lying beside him,
and how it started to diffuse
when he leaned into me.
staying awake
to talk to him...
please
keep staying awake
to talk to me.
people come and go.
I’ve told them to leave.
he comes with flaws,
like I do,
and I don’t care
to judge him
like others might.
because he stays up
to talk to me,
helps quiet my static,
let's me fall apart safely,
and doesn’t complain.
when I’m alone,
he stays up
to talk to me.
and when he falls asleep,
I’m not worried.
because when he wakes up,
he reminds me
he's still there.