you changed something this weekend
     shifted
     locked

usually so prepared,
usually I know

but this feeling, it rattled me

     with warmth
     with fear
     with the understanding that things are different now

it wasn't you gleaming with sweat,
standing at an overlook of a fairytale waterfall,
brimming with a joy found only in nature,
waiting

it wasn't your face flickering with firelight,
understanding a deep part of me,
your voice a lullaby,
melting me like the shake in your hand

it wasn't walking through technicolor geyser pools,
alone together behind our group,
asking to hold my hand for an energy transfer,
close enough to see the striations in your eyes

     no

 it was in a gas station

full of strangers that disappeared the moment you smiled at me
and I lost control of my smile that echoed back

warmth
and
fear

something changed this weekend
shifted
locked