Aug 24
I wander down the boardwalk
as I used to, many years ago.
Metering my steps to feel some semblance of control.
The yellow streetlights set fire to my
pupils over and over again as I pass under.
There's an old, soft breeze from the
lakeshore coming in.
Although you can't necessarily see the lake from here.
"This is the nice part of town" I tell myself, as my soul rests into the cityscape
and prepares itself.
I'm meeting her tonight.
In many ways its the same night as
many years ago. Warm,
but not enough to be without
a sweater or some layer on top. Although those who are young enough will likely wear less.
Perhaps she'll even choose
to wear that black jacket again.
Walking up the concrete, I look down and feel my feet underneath the weight of my bones. Every fiber and hair is on guard, and
I'm shaking.
"I'm going to give myself away" I think to myself.
I arrive at a dimly lit restaurant, and take my seat on the outside patio. My weight sinks into my cotton shirt, and it in turn pushes into the cloth of the seat. I order some waters and try to breathe into the end of summer.
It's been a decade since I last saw her. Our last exchange was a cup of bittersweetness.
I cycle through thoughts of fate and destiny, wondering about where it is leading me, or I am leading myself, now in my 30's.
I settle on the fact that its all too grand to decide right now.
My phone rumbles against the glass of the table.
And just as quickly
I pounce to check. She's arriving.
I look around frantically but there are no familiar faces.
I feel colder and my heart races.
Am I ready?
Her dress comes from around the corner.
A firm, confident walk, the same as she had many years ago.
I used to observe it carefully when she came my way. She carries her bag cautiously, mindful of her surroundings, but still, seemingly at ease.
Her skin glows ever so sadly amidst the evening sun, a warm caramel reflection back into the sky. We exchange glances briefly. An acknowledgement of a time long ago, and the people we once were together.
It is time.
as I used to, many years ago.
Metering my steps to feel some semblance of control.
The yellow streetlights set fire to my
pupils over and over again as I pass under.
There's an old, soft breeze from the
lakeshore coming in.
Although you can't necessarily see the lake from here.
"This is the nice part of town" I tell myself, as my soul rests into the cityscape
and prepares itself.
I'm meeting her tonight.
In many ways its the same night as
many years ago. Warm,
but not enough to be without
a sweater or some layer on top. Although those who are young enough will likely wear less.
Perhaps she'll even choose
to wear that black jacket again.
Walking up the concrete, I look down and feel my feet underneath the weight of my bones. Every fiber and hair is on guard, and
I'm shaking.
"I'm going to give myself away" I think to myself.
I arrive at a dimly lit restaurant, and take my seat on the outside patio. My weight sinks into my cotton shirt, and it in turn pushes into the cloth of the seat. I order some waters and try to breathe into the end of summer.
It's been a decade since I last saw her. Our last exchange was a cup of bittersweetness.
I cycle through thoughts of fate and destiny, wondering about where it is leading me, or I am leading myself, now in my 30's.
I settle on the fact that its all too grand to decide right now.
My phone rumbles against the glass of the table.
And just as quickly
I pounce to check. She's arriving.
I look around frantically but there are no familiar faces.
I feel colder and my heart races.
Am I ready?
Her dress comes from around the corner.
A firm, confident walk, the same as she had many years ago.
I used to observe it carefully when she came my way. She carries her bag cautiously, mindful of her surroundings, but still, seemingly at ease.
Her skin glows ever so sadly amidst the evening sun, a warm caramel reflection back into the sky. We exchange glances briefly. An acknowledgement of a time long ago, and the people we once were together.
It is time.
