Aug 19
that neverending stab
again and again
from the very ones
you’d take the blade for
so you switch off
cruise on autopilot
wait for the next hurt
to fall on you like clockwork
you ask yourself
why can’t you go home
but where is home
every door has a price tag
and somewhere along the way
you sold yours cheap
the returns feel cursed
blood money
burns heavier than hunger
trust, betrayal...
they call it strength
as if being broken
was some kind of gift
but they never knew
the roots have been aching
long before the leaves ever did
you whisper tired into the night
wondering if you sinned in another life
to deserve torment in this one
you can’t change people
but how much of yourself
are you meant to carve away
just to fit their fragile mould?
again and again
from the very ones
you’d take the blade for
so you switch off
cruise on autopilot
wait for the next hurt
to fall on you like clockwork
you ask yourself
why can’t you go home
but where is home
every door has a price tag
and somewhere along the way
you sold yours cheap
the returns feel cursed
blood money
burns heavier than hunger
trust, betrayal...
they call it strength
as if being broken
was some kind of gift
but they never knew
the roots have been aching
long before the leaves ever did
you whisper tired into the night
wondering if you sinned in another life
to deserve torment in this one
you can’t change people
but how much of yourself
are you meant to carve away
just to fit their fragile mould?
for 29 years, i believed in change. for 29 years, i had hope. and when i silently forgave them, it made me believe that they don't deserve it. time and time again, the hurt against me gets worse. i don't know what i did so wrong in the past life that i deserve this pain. everyone else loves me, everyone else sees the real me and accepts me for who i am...why can't they? why can't my own blood treat me like how they should? disappointed is an understatement.
