my grandma visited a year ago
I think about it regularly
reminiscing on our joint memories

she'd never visited before
she said this might be her last chance
I assumed she meant to visit
that she would get too old to travel

but when her hug lasted  two seconds longer
than I thought it should

but when I saw her eyes glisten
in the dim hotel light

but when her voice cracked
as she said 'goodbye'

I wondered if she didn't in fact mean that
this would be the last chance for her to visit
and instead it would be her last chance to see me

her granddaughter.

It wasn't that she was dieing
but we were never that close
not enough for me to make the trip to visit
a burden I always took on myself
even though she was the adult
with a phone she could call me on,

suddenly her efforts felt not enough,
and a little too late.