Big beautiful blue eyes
and soft squeaks wrapped
in hospital blankets
and unplugged from machines
find a world of promise
and undreamed dreams
surrounded by heartache
and very recent death
your cry doesn't pierce the
still air bit it signals just
the same as laughter in
and empty house.
You sleep in comfort
and warmth and I love
you like crazy or at
least as much as
I hate myself.
I hope you run and play
and recall me in brightly
colored shades and I'm
sorry if I seem broken
on your arrival,
My little love,
but loss has it's tenterhooks
pulling me taut against
the ongoing anguish
that my life had
long ago become.
And I know, of course
I know,
that you will light in me
a fire that can one
day burn the pain
into distant echoes
and I will never be
able to thank you for
pulling me out of darkness
and I hope you can
forgive finding
me there so often.
I am trying, every second
of every day
with glue and with tape
to put myself together
into a more acceptable shape.