You were always
my one and
only child
My most
cherished
desirable
responsibility
I long to
carry you away
from those toxic
exploitative
friends
who use you
break you and
tear you apart
Whenever
they wound you
you come and
pour your anger
upon me
and still
I welcome it
because
I am utterly
yours

I wish to
watch over you
to follow
the trace of
your steps
to guard you
from
every shadow
of trouble

All those women
whom
your handsomeness
mesmerizes—
you might play
your silent games
with them
just as you did
with me—
but they never
fall for it
That breaks you
shatters you further
and yet
here I remain
secretly
I watch you
your eyes fixed
on her photo
on your phone
the first woman
who utterly
ruined you
witnessing
the rest of
your soul
bleed while
I am no nurse
only a heart that
loves you
beyond reason

I chase you
with prayers
with madness
with unwavering
determination to
remain by your side
I am gently
desperately
in love with your
short-tempered mind
with the way you
seek refuge in me—
even though
you never
promised to
stay forever
I feel as
if I am here only
until you find
your way
back to her
only until she can
shatter you more
I am sorry
I cannot stay
neutral
cannot shield myself
cannot distance
myself from
the gravity of you

I loved you with
all the pain in me—
my family’s negligence
my scars from
emotional and
physical abuse—
and I came
to you with
a heart whole
and overflowing,
ready to be your wife
your mother
your sanctuary
your entire world
How can I
silence my mind
when it tortures me
with your image
when I find you in
every fresh scent
in every drop
of rain
in every whisper
of nature
in every wave that
kisses the shore?
I am not hallucinating;
I am wholly
endlessly
in love with you

I ache to save you—
from yourself
from the trouble that
surrounds you
from the sins that
gnaw at
your spirit—
praying that
God will
not take you away
not now
not from me
What more
can I do to
convince the world
that I would endure
your storm
your borderlines
your fury
endlessly
infinitely
without hesitation?

I love you
save me from
the torment of
worrying over you
Save my soul
and return to me
unscathed
No medicine
no sleeping pill
can still
this restless heart—
not even Seroquel
which once lulled me
into forgetfulness

What prayers
what sacred whispers
could possibly
call you
back to me?
Come back—
I am terrified of
losing you
for you are
the very reason
I am still alive

My sweetheart Daniel
with every prayer
I whisper
I feel the world
rising between us
A thousand
invisible walls
attempting to
tear us apart
With each heartfelt
supplication
misfortune
shadows your path
And the world
conspires to
convince me that
you are not
meant for me
Yet I defy
the impossible
For I have loved you
beyond reason
And I will never
abandon my faith
that miracles
can bloom
even in the
darkest nights

No matter how
harsh you are
no matter how
you wound
I know the weight of
your days
The loneliness
of childhood
The sting of
a family that
treated you differently
from your siblings…
I carry it all
quietly in my heart,
And I will never
let go of you
No matter what
storms may come
No matter how
fierce the night
I will love you
forever

—Your Loyal Temporary Wife