I can’t say this to you
Mainly because I don’t know how

But I love you
And I hate you at the same time

I wish I didn’t love you
I wish we never met one another

Yet here we are
You became a big part of my life

Just know that
I hate you
And I love you at the same time

So why do I love you
If I hate you

Great fcking question
I can’t answer that

I met you
You were new and I was trying to train you
The first person I met through work

The only person I met through work

I was stressed
But being around you helped to calm me down

I can’t explain why
But that’s when I knew I liked you

I cried over you
Without my workmom even knowing why I was crying

Then we began talking
And your voice sounded like unheard angelic music

We hung out
You’re the first person I’ve had at my house that I’ve cried in front of

I never cry in front of people
Hardly in front of my own family

I don’t even know why I started crying
But the moment I did
You wiped my tears away and kissed my forehead

Affection..something that I didn’t get a lot of
But you had no problem showing me that you liked me back

And then we kept talking
And talking
And talking

I don’t know why I never asked you out officially
Because our entire situation confused me

We were only ever ‘talking’
Until we weren’t
Exactly one year later

You met someone
Someone who gave you something I couldn’t

Now I’m 18
And you’re turning 23 this year

And I’m still in love with you
And you’re in love with another

But that’s okay
I’m happy that you’re happy

That’s all I’ve ever wanted
Was for you to be happy
Even if it wasn’t with me

So fck you
But also
I love you