I haven’t even loved anyone since you
I used others to try and feel better
Maybe if I try I will love them
And I never truly did, I think
(I don’t even know anymore)
I’m cruel and heartless, truly
using others to try and pull away from you
so just try and forget it.
you know you can’t.
You were even aesthetically pleasing when paired with me
first in many things, you and yours were my people
i can’t believe i still write about you
think about you
care about you
Love you
are you like a brother? or are you like a lover?
either way, you were the closest to me
Even today I’m still trying to pick the bits of you out of the most of me
where does your influence end and my life begin?
I can’t let myself date someone else until i feel a love for them, a real kind of love
(like the one i feel for you)
I’m still waiting to feel
using others to try and fill in the gaps doesn’t work, but for some reason i still want to do it