My stomach hurts again not knowing
I probably ruined us but what if I hadn’t?

What if I didn’t!

But I guess I’ll never know because I’m just left with your hoodie.
This title you threw upon me remains even though you’ve changed.
Were you trying to hold on?
Were you trying to let me know?
Or did you need to be loved so?

I haven’t seen you smile but I picture it,
All the silly moments I made you laugh,  

God the things I’d do for us to laugh again.

Nowadays I miss you more than I remember you,
Were you good to me?
Were we meant to be?
Were you the one?

I’d really love it if you called—
But I know my number probably got lost in the backend.
Right?
Let this image of us drift,
Let me let us move on,

Please help me I can’t let you go.

I held you close until you could let go.
You held me close to assure you could go.

What if we’re not the same lovers?
What if we never met?
What if I never see you again?

Because your hoodie has lost your smell,
My hand has forgotten the shape of your nails,
And god do I ******* miss hearing you laugh.

Because I would never take you back if that meant hurting you again.
But I could die seeing you live happily ever after.
At least then I’d assure he made you smile,
Because I remember the first time you smiled at me— and let me assure you I could watch it for eternity.

Turned you into forever,
I now will.