Nightmares haunt me rather I am asleep or wide awake
I wonder how far can I bend before I actually break

So much for these nights of quiet contemplation
I was swallowed whole by the chaos from the very moment of my creation.

I cry out, I beg, I plead, I pray
All in search of a better way
It gets harder everyday
For me to hold my demons at bay
Everything I say at least to me sounds so cliche
Not that it matters what I say
For there's no one listening to me anyway

To the sky I blow the smoke from my cigarette
I try my best not to live with any regret
I keep telling myself not to get so upset
Over things that haven't even happened yet

I feel like I am stagnet kind of like smoke that has gone stale
Maybe it's me roasting over the open flames in my own hell

Every time I turn around I come across another complication
So now I am seeking out a little salvation


In reverse I am falling free in a tail spin
I cannot give up nor can I give in
It would be the ultimate sin
If I were to let this devil win

My drug abuse is just an excuse it's like a crutch I use still I wish these demons would turn me loose

The stars in my dark sky do not shine bright enough for me to see
So through the sinister darkness I stroll blindly

I am headed to a pretty place now where the flowers grow
Steadily I am just rocking this **** bowl
I may be back within an hour or so
Then I'll travel on to places even angels fear to go

Fire burning everything down it's now all like ashes to dust scattered by the wind
When will this torment ever ******* end
I'm not your foe but I am indeed a fiend my friend
So I guess it's here we go again

I'm only crazy when I start to go sane
When I'm so numb I actually long to feel the pain
Everything I wrote is twisted perverse explicit and profane
My misery these words do contain
Every day it's harder for me to be able to maintain
Every symbol is utter drips with much disdain
Yet here I am melting in this acid rain

I think the end maybe coming soon,
Eyes bigger than the neon moon
Animated I'm all drawn out like a **** cartoon
Looking at the morons all red assed like a **** baboon
I'm stark raving mad laughing like a loon
All the while I am being crushed underneath the weight of this pending doom
My cluttered room is starting to feel like a tomb
Disastrous behaviors I resume
*** and sweat scent the air like a new perfume
The toxic fumes colorful as a peacocks plume
Shot gun blasting off with a sonic boom

I lost myself in a God forsaken place
So far out of reach from my saving grace
I drink of my misfortune it has a bitter taste
**** this Life what a waste
I can't seem to keep up the pace
Faster than me are the ghosts that chase
Haunted by all the mistakes I can't erase
Here bodies have been known to disappear without a trace.
You already know if there is no evidence there is no case
So in the clutches of evil I smother in its empty embrace