So many days
I stare into wandering space,
Wondering how I let myself get here…

How could I let you in:
Energy so mangled and searching
For someone like me,
To drown away everything that you were:

It was a lie,
Really, I was a graveyard for you:
To lay down your sins
Never let me in, and still somehow…

You think I won
taking the bare minimum
scraping by each day hoping
you would stop causing me pain.

Its true,
Loving you was suffering, like running a little hamster wheel
tripping, exhausted and yet
It was only for you to gain…
It was all a game.

All said and done,
I dont feel anything for you
I dont know why i did it
the only thing i know is

I'm ashamed to have loved someone like you.

a.wild