a prayer i would often repeat to myself as a child was-
“God, please give me the strength to face my problems”
praying was touted as this universal solution to any issue
that you could ask for anything and if God was merciful enough
and you have done good
He will grant it to you
i never felt like i was worthy to ask God for anything specific
that if i told Him i wanted this new video game coming out
my hands would melt touching my ps2 controller
because i put such a financial burden on my parents
so instead, i asked for strength
vague, but can be applied everywhere
what strength would a child need to face their problems?
that prayer stuck with me, i never ask God for anything
other than hope, something i’ve lost
what is an ant to a purported eternal light casting eternal shadows?
asking for material things, in a spiritual fashion
ironic isn't it?
prayer is encouraged
don’t ask for too much
if you ask for that one girl, who looks at you with a supernova in her eyes
and a winter’s mist in her heart, to love you back
you will be ungrateful, and smote
God isn’t a love potion, foolish of you to assume she will bring you any kind of happiness anyways
turned to dust,
inhaled into the sky
no need for strength anymore

i still repeat the prayer to this day
the problems remain, change form, grow, decay, are born anew
but the strength, i don’t think i’ve found it