Pulling back
No close friends
Blamed it on my parents
Their fault in the end

Yet, I’m the one
Shutting down
And shutting out
I don’t come around

I assumed you’d rather
I not be here
I assumed you’d rather
I never come near

So I save us the trouble
In every possible way
Couldn’t be an inconvenience
Not me, not today

Except it’s not just today
It’s every single day
Closer to 30 than 16
Will I ever be okay?

Learning to speak
To let the words come out
I get choked up
And they’re stuck in my mouth

I swallow hard
And force them down
Until I puke them up
With vile in the throne

The only way I know
How to communicate
Is with rhythm and rhyme
I cant just speak up
And there I go again losing the poem to….