it's foreign to me,
to not be heartbroken or obsessed.

there's not a single person
that's constantly on my mind
every second of every day of my life.

nobody in particular to think of,
when i pretend i'm being held at night,
listening to the sad breakup songs i once related to.

it's strange, not painting my nails anyone's favorite color,
or doing my hair or makeup for anyone like i used to.

now, if i were to think of a "him"
not a single specific person would appear.
and neither would those feelings of hopeless longing.