you were 9 when you heard about depression for the first time
you told yourself “that will never be me
i’m gonna be happy
i’m gonna be free”

then at 10 you started to wonder
why am i so sad?
it made your mom worry
so did your dad

And at 11 you cut for the first time making you wonder
why
why
why it made you feel better
you just wanted to quit but you still did everything you could to hide it

then at 12 you let your mind dwell on the thoughts saying  just end it
it’s all you wanted to do
yet still you didn’t

but at 13 you tried pills for the first time
started with a high and then enough to die

and at 14 you met him
the one you thought saved you
but still you tried and you tried
you tried to fight , to die, sometimes both at the same time

then at 15 you went to therapy saying
“i don’t think this can save me”
but still he encouraged you
he was proud of you

now you’re 16 and he’s not here anymore
the pain left with him, but who’s keeping score?
it took a few years but you’re finally free
just like that 9 year old said you would be