Lawrence Hall
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Dispatches for the Colonial Office

               She Had *** with Her Brother Says The Daily Wail

She had *** with her brother says The Daily Wail
And was eaten in prison, there without bail
By vampires who live in deep tunnels beneath
A park bench situated in Hampstead Heath

Amelia Earhart’s plane has been found again
She was married to ******’s identical twin
And ******, you know, was secretly straight
Cruisin’ for chicks near the Brandenburg Gate

DNA proves that a Kennedy son
Lives under an alias in Area 51
And commutes to Stonehenge on a weekly basis
Transported by Martian hydroponic stasis

But back to the man who had *** with his sister
Did he use preferred pronouns whenever he kissed her?