what a load of bull
i wish that was the rule
that we only felt physical pain
i’d take that any day

some of the things that have been said
they constantly replay in my head
i look in the mirror
“talk about chopped”
“you look like a little kid”
“i think you’re gaining”
“your hips are uneven”

there’s been so much worse said
but it’s okay
they’re all just jokes anyway
so don’t take it to seriously
or you **** the party

“talk about chopped”
i wake up two hours early
to do my hair
pick an outfit
but it’s never enough

“you look like a little kid”
i put on layers of makeup
just trying to feel like my age
but i constantly feel like im trapped in a cage

“i think you’re gaining”
yeah i know
my usually flat stomach
is getting some rolls
i’ve already crashed out tho
and i kinda stopped eating
but its ok
i don’t mind it

“your hips are uneven”
gee thanks
that’s so sweet of you
the one thing a like about myself
is something you hate too

i give my self delusional confidence
and fake self-esteem
it sends me on a rush
to where i don’t care
about anything

but then the crash comes
and i realize it wasn’t real
and i try not to cry
i try not to scream
knowing that people only like
the delusionally dazed me

but it’s fine
it’s all just jokes
sticks and stones
i use them to break my skin
and my bones