friendships are hard.
i think they always will be.

it's about
finding that in between
balance
of love,
care,
and annoying one another.

i can never seem
to find that in between.

either they
annoy me too much
and i don't speak up --
because im scared ill
hurt them,
or i care too much
and it slowly,
very slowly,
pushes them away.

or maybe im too
quiet.
not loud enough.
i am loud though --
once you know me.

i know they're
not meant to
be this difficult.
but i always feel
as though im
in the middle of
trios
and groups.

or that i distance myself
too much
even when i need to be
distanced from the noise.

it'll get better.
hopefully.
eventually.

some people find
each other
again
after a few years.

but if not,
there's plenty of people
for me
to get to know
and become friends with.