thinking of myself, at the wrong times
thinking of everyone else, at the wrong times
I’m mixed up I can’t get the timing right
I flip the fried
egg too fast i wasn’t ready
the yolk always spills on me
& the pan was too hot

because
it is about *** and it is
about body it’s a part
of me and I’ve grown
tired
of pretending it’s not

it’s not but it is
an everyday day
and i really shouldn’t care
at this point in the game
but i’ve been avoiding myself
and
counting

my words
come together like glass
shatter when it’s fast,
too loud,
or any of the other
undesirable traits
from my father’s side
(she said)

wash it away but
the waves come back
too quickly;
i can’t help but fall
underwater
again
overflowing on
bad timing
the wrong judgment
a miscalculation