nostalgia feels like a rotting tooth

and it won't come out; no matter how many times i
wiggle and twist
and pull at it

or when my father tells me he's
going to tie a string around it and
slam the door

or my mother threatens to send me to the dentist
its too big of a problem for an ordinary person

im attached to the rot

she is my friend; i watched her grow
and she grew with me too
plus, ive never liked leaving things behind

and i remember-
how? can i remember her if she is nothing
how? will i be able to understand the present and survive the future
without the context of the past

the rot will spread and I will endure it

even so, it hurts