I thought I was the closest
Not just near in distance...  I mean in essence
in meaning
The echo their soul called out
when silence grew loud
The secret they’d whisper
when the world turned too proud
The soft place... the hush
the first thought at dusk

The one they'd whisper to when the light's dimmed
Their confession booth when guilt got grim
Their calm before storms
Their safe before harm
Their anchor; their breath  not just a charm
I didn’t just guess this
They made it seem like scripture; written on skin

The voice they’d search for in chaos
The map to clarity when they got lost
The voice that threaded peace into panic;
Who'd speak light into their havoc;
Call their name and the world would slow
I was the calm within their undertow

The face that anchored their peace
Where they’d find laughter; where anxieties cease
The picture they’d hold when they closed their eyes;
The only truth beneath a thousand lies
I believed I was their favorite view;
Their mirror; their muse; their ever-true

A sacred name resting on the cushion of their heartbeat
Pronounced with softness; like a hymn incomplete
I swore I lived in the folds of their chest
Right between yesterday’s pain and tomorrow’s rest
I wasn’t just in love; I thought I was loved
An answered prayer; a gift sent from above

I thought I was it
Not a maybe; not a placeholder
Not just a name on a long list
But the name... the highlight... the gold ink on their wrist
And I wore that belief like a badge; so sure
Even framed my worth in how they adored

Not out of arrogance
Not vanity
But because love; when consistent... feels like clarity
And they were consistent  or so it seemed
Even silence between us felt like a dream
The quiet was warm; not distant or mean
I mean; how could I doubt what felt so serene

But out of how gently they laughed at my jokes
As if every punchline gave them hope
How they smiled before I even spoke
And waited; like I was always worth the quote
Out of how they lingered when they said my name
Like each syllable had its own flame

How they held my hand like the world might end if they let go
As if letting go meant losing the glow
As if I was both the moment and the memory
Both the journey and the remedy
I thought I was the sun in their orbit
And maybe I was
Until the shadow crept in and distorted it

So I made a home in their heart
Built it brick by brick; every word a part
Furnished it with trust
Hung paintings of moments
Framed laughter in the corners
Lit candles of atonement

But then...
There came a day
A ripple in the pattern
A crack in the clay
A small shift  like a cough in a quiet theatre
Something out of place
Like a voice breaking in a prayer

An emergency
A silence
A crossroad
A dance with absence no one foretold
And in the middle of their storm
When lightning struck; and winds took form
They reached for someone else

Not me
Not the hand they once claimed to need
Not the voice that calmed them in grief
Not the warmth they called home
Not the arms they used to run toward when cold
No  not me
Not the version I swore was gold

They told the news to someone else first
They let them hear the tremble; the burst
They cried in someone else’s arms
They curled up in a different calm
They needed warmth
and mine wasn’t the fire they sought

That’s when I learned
Love can be loud and still lie
It can shine like a sun before it says goodbye
Spotlights lie
They burn bright and blind
Until you can't see you're not centerstage at all

I thought I was the dearest
But I was just there
Not the safe place
Not the sanctuary
Just; background comfort
The one you forget when your real one's back
A season; A chapter; A scenic track
And it took all of me not to scream into the sky
"Was it all pretence? Was I just nearby?"

I smiled through the fracture
Held back the flood
Walked through the ruins wearing their love like mud
Swallowed the lesson like bitter medicine
Sometimes; the one you’d leap for
Wouldn’t even call your name in the fall

And that’s the cruelty of assumption
To believe you're their person
Only to learn
You're just a person