I still have your letter,
the one you wrote me for my birthday,
I keep it in my wallet along with your picture,
I will cherish them as long as I breathe my love.

Your presence is always
on the tip of my consciousness,
every part of every day
you're always on my mind,
you never seize to dissipate
from my foggy brain.

I love you,
I love you with every piece of my shattered heart,
lost and maybe never to be found.

Every night I write and delete,
but I hope that these lonely words
will somehow reach you,
perhaps weaving your dreamy visions
that you forget when you wake up.

I will write in vain,
and you will live hopefully,
joyful, oblivious to my sorrowed existence
amidst the crashing of day and night.

My precious,
you are the curing pain,
the never-ending desire
destined to never be fulfilled.

I howl
as I realize that insanity
is consuming my senses.
Hysterical laughing is looming
in my dark horizons
like a predator stalking a desperate prey.

I may know not my way,
I may get lost
between the brightness of the world
and the darkness of my rotten mind.

I may become the fool
that you pass by someday
and not notice.

I may fade into the shadows
and never to be seen again.

But it's all bearable
because I yearn for you, my cutie pie.
I'm still feeding the flame that you started,
I never let it die.

I sit and I watch it burn
in the emptiness of my purgatory.
Warmth costs pieces of me,
but it's all bearable and forgettable
when your smile flashes
on the murky surface of my memory,

and when the revenant sound of "I love you"
rattles my walking corpse
as I walk to my grave—
the grave I dug myself.

This is where I belong
without my love.

As the light fades from my soul,
I will be shedding tears of joy
as I watch
that you have found the one that you love.

Content by your radiant essence,
I will die
with a smile.