is this what it feels like
when you’re the oldest in the room
and you feel so uncool
hearing names you haven’t heard of
cause you’re no longer in school

doing dares over drinks
and you care so much about what they think
i’m so scared of girls who are nineteen
what do you do when you feel like you’re not part of the scene?

they walk on eggshells
and i dont know if i should take offense
cause i think i am the same as them
only with a full-time employment

god i wish i could be much more
than a girl who’s already twenty four
they shared stories of nights they won’t remember
and i just listened, quiet, a little envious, tender

i wish i went to parties,
and mixed tequila with martinis
stole a bottle of whiskey
and did other stupid things

but here i am, in bed by 10
writing another badly written poem
could i still live the life i lost
and if i did, at what cost?