I know I don’t have you
but I don’t want to lose you.

My heart compresses and aches
and shakes and breaks
at the mere thought of pain too great
for you to stake your love on me.
The gift I need would make you bleed.
Yet shattered I plead for a sign, a seed.
Might even the tiniest sliver of you be mine?
I’m sorry! So sorry! How I stab and slice
with each roll of the dice.
You can’t pay the price and I should think twice.
This hunger is strong, has gnawed decades long
but you are far gone.
My desire cut you, bled you out,
Destroyed each last sprout of hope I fear
Only my doubt is left to muck about
in this drought of you.

Still all I want to do
is mend, befriend, heal, renew
Converse, embrace & always love you.
My chest heaves with a sigh
for drops of your love I cry
to know more of you, still I try,
I treasure your deep diamond core
It’s you I’ve always adored
Unsatisfied, I want more.
Instead all I taste
Salty tears on my face
and a huge empty waste
where you self-erased.

I know I don’t have you
so why can’t I leave this place?
I don’t want to lose you
Still