i feel so small.
i miss your voice.
your eyes.
how they never stayed
always running.

i know the feeling.
i’ve run too
from the sound of my name,
from my thoughts
when the room gets quiet.
from the way my body
feels like a costume i never chose.

but then your laugh.
when i say something stupid
just to hear it.
like maybe if you smile,
i'll stay whole
for another hour.

your eyes traced me.
slow.
like i’d disappear
if you blinked.
like touching me
would crack the illusion.
or worse
make it true.

we live in almosts.
almost touching.
almost loving.
almost real.

and maybe
you’re waiting for me to fall apart
so you won’t have to.

but i already did.
you just didn’t see it.
you weren’t looking.