Boyfriend Bang Bang

I left in a huff
Bang Bang!
Cigarette in hand
He just took a puff
Bang Bang!
“*******” I warned.
See, he just tried to shoot himself
Right in the head.
Thought this would be fine
And I wouldn’t mind.
“Suicide, Suicide – *******.”
“Yes. I care if you’re dead.”

Of course, I won’t let him succeed.
Of course, I get me between him and his gun.
Of course, he shoots a hole in the floor
Of course, he
Bang Bang
terrifies me.

Bang Bang!
“******!  You shot the floor.”
Sobbing, tears and apologies fall,
But not till,
It will, serve him best.
See, I make a joke – that’s what I do.
To change his mind
To clear the clutter, the coke left behind.
“******* if you hurt my ears, I will ******* **** you.
**** it.  I hate loud noises”
Bang Bang – is ringing my ears.


“I’m sorry.  You just don’t know.”
I don’t know, try me….believe me….I been down this road before.
He won’t get help.
Bang Bang!
Because that’s too much work
Oh how that hurts.
Bang Bang!

“’I’m sorry.” He moans
“Where are the police?--- You shoot a gun and no one comes?”

“I’m dialing 911.”
Bang Bang!
He begs and cries
“Please don’t”
“I can’t lose my job.”
Bang Bang! –
I was so scared, but couldn’t show it.
Bang Bang!
Why I stayed - I couldn’t know it.
Bang Bang!
Love, I might say.
Bang Bang!
But, he blew it away.
Bang Bang!
He just didn’t care.
Bang Bang!
That I might be scared.
Bang Bang!
Now I am shaking,
My body is red.
Bang Bang!
But, I must stay calm
stare at the dog
till the trembling is gone.
Bang Bang!
I should know better
And not be there.
Bang Bang!
I can’t fix him
It makes me so sad.
Bang Bang!
He is sick.
I know.  It’s not fair.
Bang Bang!
But, honestly it is as if
I just wasn’t there.
Bang Bang!
Was it just for show?
Bang Bang!
I’ll never know.

I left in a huff.

Post Script

Bang Bang!
He is alive
Cigarette in hand
He’ll take a puff and
To someone else
He will cry and sob
How his world *****.