I've figured something about my dreams.
They come alive when I’m exhausted—
when I’m distracted,
when I haven’t slept right in days.
That’s when they find me—
the dreams where I’m with you.
Where we exist.

Existence I had of you until I wake up.
Every night, I break myself—
tear myself down longing for you,
lie in bed killing parts of me
until my body Stops;
”I can't do this every time."
I'll never have you
living a thousand dreams looking for you.
And yet...

for a moment—just a moment—
I get to be with you.
the idea of you.
And in that place,
I'm whole.
A moment I can enjoy
for the next five seconds
before these eyes of mine opens
and forget everything.