I want to scream
until my throat forgets the shape of silence
until the walls peel
until the sky folds in
until even God says,
"okay, okay, I hear you now"

I want to scream
with every inch of my breathless body
with every ounce of failure
I dressed up in productivity
with every task I watched rot
on my to-do list
while I sat perfectly still
bleeding invisible
under the weight of nothing

I want to scream
because tired is too soft a word
because "I’m fine" is a crime
and I’ve been lying with a smile so long
it’s starting to look like my face

I want to scream
for the way my heart beats
like it’s trying to escape
for the way my thoughts clash
like gods in a glass jar
for the way I try
just try
just 'try'
and the world shrugs
like effort means nothing
like breathing isn’t already a war

I want to scream
for every silent scream
I buried in my chest
under polite nods and fake plans and
"maybe tomorrow"

I want to scream
until every “you’ll be okay” breaks
until comfort sounds like action
until someone answers
with more than
“you’re strong”

I want to scream
until I’m emptied
hollowed
quieted by force
not peace
just collapse
just
'let go'

I want to scream
until I pass out
and maybe even then
my body will keep screaming
without me