Seeing childhood places should bring me joy
I should feel happy remembering all the wonderful times
But all I could do is stare at these places as if I have never stepped foot inside
All I could do is stare and remember the life I left behind
Having to reopen doors that I closed long ago
Reopening wounds that were simply “healed” by putting a bandaid on them

Seeing the park that I ran around in only makes me remember when I witnessed my brother get hit
Passing the school I once attended brings back when my brother went to the hospital
When entering the home of my grandma one would think I would remember the smell of her cooking or her telling us stories
But all I could remember was when I had to go to the neighbors apartment because she was having an episode

All these places I’ve visited
Places where to others they would remember playing in the swings
Hanging out with friends during lunch
Eating food there grandma cooked them
All I could do was gaze and think how she once walked this path beaming at the sight before her
Not knowing later on that these sights would bring her sadness
9:48 pm 3-31-23