God, I’m tired.
I’m tired of this
Never ending winter.
I don’t see spring around the corner.

I had my first kiss last night.
I had a lot of firsts last night.
I’ll spare You the gory details,
And trust me, it got gory.

The fawn meets the bear after
Years of only seeing one
Through a screen.
It’s one thing to feel your
Soul being ****** through your
School laptop, and it’s an
Entirely different thing to
Feel the teeth sink into you.
Though I have to be honest,
Sometimes the pain is heaven.

My friends don’t know me at all.
They don’t know how I give
Myself away and how
I can’t sleep until there’s nothing
Left of me but skin and bones.
They see the scars from watching
My life blood drain, but
They don’t say anything.

I try to be present,
Try to be thankful.
But the grace in my heart has faded and the
Flowers in my hair have died.
I don’t know what’s left.

I cry out but You’re never there.
You let me bleed,
You let me hang from the bear’s mouth.
How could You?

I don’t need You.
I don’t need you.
I just need to go to sleep and if
I never wake up,
That’d be okay too.