bright lights and lustful eyes
fall upon my stage.
can you even tell–
whether you wanna be me
or be with me ?

gilded, it reflects my blinding fame
as they adoringly chant my name
each touch sends a shiver
feeding to desires that claw and command
on my carefully sculpted fortress, my facade.

oh, it’s exhausting
but i still have time for myself
feel my own flesh under my fingertips
soothing the frayed nerves
my body buzzes from the exhibition.

–

iDOL’S iNTERLUDE

DiD YOU REALLY THiNK i WOULDN’T NOTiCE ?
OF COURSE i DiD. EVERYONE DOES.
THAT’S KiND OF MY THiNG.
Y’KNOW, BEiNG NOTiCEABLE.

SO, WHAT iS iT ?
AN AUTOGRAPH ? A SELFiE ?
AH, DON’T TELL ME–
A KiSS ?

LOOK, i GET iT.
THiS FACE ? THiS TALENT ? THiS AURA ?
iT’S A LOT TO TAKE IN !
BUT KEEP iT TOGETHER, YEAH ?

THE WORLD KEEPS SPiNNiNG
EVEN WHEN i BLESS iT WITH MY PRESENCE.
BEAUTY iS MUCH MORE THAN A CONSTRUCT
i’M THiS PATHETiC WORLD’S MUSE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ?
BUT MAKE iT QUiCK.
MY SCHEDULE iS… TiGHT. YOU KNOW HOW iT iS WHEN YOU’RE ME.
WELL, ACTUALLY– YOU DON’T.

–

the roar fades, finally phantom in my ears
but the heat still clings
the ghost of want really taunts me
backstage, clumsily touching myself
a pathetic substitute for the reality i crave.

humid air envelopes my body
the lone moonlight, a cold ******.
i so wish it were my fans…
eager to see
eager to see me, overstimulation, overload.

i guess i should mention–
the shimmer reflects no saint tonight
only sweat slicking skin, restless with need
the crowd gives no place to hide
the now pulsing truth beneath the light.

i love the sight of their eyes,
their irises burning holes through my clothing.
my urges come undone
once carefully constructed, crumbles down
as soft sighs leave my lips.