I feel I have a big heart,
Does that mean a lot?
Or is it something that
Somehow holds me down.
A blessing that feels like a burden.

Sometimes I hate it,
Sometimes I resent it.
Because I have no control
Over what I feel.

I overthink my brains out,
Apologizing for simply existing.
Forgiving wounds so deep,
Too easily, without much thought.
Even when it leaves me empty.

Worrying over people
Who wouldn’t flinch if I disappeared.
Draining my social battery
To the last drop where it doesn’t exist.

I feel guilty for actions
That I had no control over.
Making me rethink my past,
Where I was a name on a list,
Never a person in their story.

I stand among many,
But belong to none.
Because they never loved me,
The way I have loved them.