I know that one day I will be okay,
and the pain will go away,
and I will be glad that I stayed.

But today is not that day.

Today, I know that I should be happy to be alive—
because after all, I have a good life—
but I can’t be happy,
because I am damaged.

Like a bird with a broken wing,
I am unable to fly.
Scared I’m going to die,
but more scared that I survived,
and now I have to be alive.

I have to live with the voice inside my head
that wants me dead,
that never wants me to get out of bed.

I have to live with the past
I worked so hard to forget—
and yet,
I still remember.

Deep down,
all that has happened,
all I have seen—
and I drown
in the past I try so hard to push down.

I look for a way out,
but there is none.
I scream and I run,
but I can’t outrun the past.

I can’t forget the things that broke me,
or the little girl I used to be,
before my innocence
was stolen from me.

Right now,
I am damaged goods,
a bird with a broken wing.

And maybe I will always be a little broken.

But I know—
one day I will be okay,
and I won’t feel this way.

But not today.

Today, I am not okay.
So I take it
one day at a time,
one minute,
one second,
one step—

because one day,
I will be okay.