im so ******* done, everytime i get the tiniest bit of hope and my mental health is starting to get better, i ******* lose it cuz why not. im too tired to even try at this point, for the past **** knows how long ive been trying to convince myself im not suicidal, just to not **** myself before summer break, then i can be depressed all i want. i have exactly 20 days left until summer break and i genuinely dont think i'll be alive by then. "oh but your brother will get worried", i dont ******* care at this point. i really dont. nothing is real anyway, i just ended up being in this ******* reality where everyone hates me. sorry for the rant but im way too ******* tired for this.