No peace
I feel erased literally figurtively
I don't know
I dont have words to say anymore
The grief i feel about everything is all consuming
I have left everything
Or has it all left me
I am unsure
I am an orphan in the world
Misunderstood
Literally and figureitvely
I feel that i dont fit .
All i feel most of the time is pain
Even doing things that i like
Like now sitting for coffee
The pain is my accompanying figure
My partner in life
I have no one
No one wants to be my friend that is healthy and worthwhile
Noone asks me if i am okay
Which by the way even when i am better
I am still very much not okay
And like how would I be?
I dont wonder anymore
But i do wander about the lack of complexity in the world
The lack of empathy and humanity
Especially in the west
All i see is harm even within the helping
Not just harm but large amounts of it
I feel that my voice is choked within but i always knew no matter the pain
I wont change or hurt myself to be someones muse or to be more palatable but the rest of me
I guess hasn't caught up yet
Hasn't unchained myself
From my chains although
The chains still feel deep and cut deep
Oh how i long for the simple privelages that others have .
How I long .