i don’t want what’s handed to me.
i want what runs.
what looks at me then
looks away.
what i have to earn.

because wanting hurts less
than being handed something that never mattered.

attention means more
   when i have to work for it.
affection feels real
   when it’s rare.

i don’t want easy.
  i want to chase.
  i want to ache.
  i want to reach
and never quite touch.

because longing is safer
than pretending to be satisfied.

it’s easier to keep chasing
when you know the prize isn’t promised;
and you have to work
to even get close.

because chasing
    something real
feels better than
    catching something hollow.