Sometimes on some days I look at you as a human being.
Not because I don’t see it, it’s because your influence on me is strong.
You inspired me to think deeply and see the world differently..
Now I’m at the height of high levels of self-awareness and I’m aware of my cognitive abilities.
Yet I can feel the way that middle ground freezes up and the way my feelings become dull as a brick.
If it’s how cold I am, maybe my attitude won’t change and don’t need changing.

I don’t need a fix, if you hear that I don’t need such a thing.
I’m a soul trying to understand your true intentions and your thoughts.
It feels as if you are taking the way I slide underneath the assignment to your framework.
Is how I sit there and look at the possibilities that you barely or might not consider.
I’m met with deflect or dismissal.
Maybe I don’t understand, but it feels like it’s aimed towards me.
I’m trying to be serious and real remember that because when the concept of connections are asked..
When it is asked I won’t know what it is you want me to say or reach for when I’ve been cut down.
It was accepted and now I’m cut off, like a broken door.

I understand you're a human.
I didn’t say I didn’t understand.
I didn’t say I didn’t understand your intentions.
I didn’t say I don’t understand all of that.
You give me a fix, sure I accepted it but I don’t all at the same time.
Don’t reduce the way I think to a block.
To a tower of impossible.
To a cold bed of unimportance.
I’m barely sorry you might take that as a different thing.
I’m not avoiding work, no.
I may be the only one talking about it, sure.

That doesn’t mean I’m setting it aside.
I’m trying to understand why your framework doesn’t suddenly connect with me.
Like it used to, I’m no longer a quiet paper.
I’m trying to speak even if you bare to hear me.
Yet I don’t think your help is helping me.
I didn’t need a fix or solution.
It didn’t need to be quick to hand me out of the way.
I just feel ignored, like a pencil is on a desk.
Where I land is nowhere, but the time I don’t give in to you is nowhere too.
It is nowhere because I went nowhere. Part of you lost me I think.
I just think because I think I’m not assuming sometimes teachers are like this too.