Gasping for air
I stare into my ceiling light
My arms glued to the carpet
I don’t remember going down
Just standing up up from bed
I forgot what this was like

My heart is thumping
In its slow double pulse
Like how it would
When I would think of you
Read your words
See your face
Hear your name

And then it came back
I read your poem
I stood up arrogantly
Wishing the world was different
Except for one thing
And then I was down

I wonder what’s worse
Being down here
Or the circumstances that **** me